Official Pointer Wars Website

Pointer Wars is a Star Wars parody written in C/C++. No, not a program. A story, although relatively short, written in C/C++. It takes a little getting used to. For example, every array of chars (statement) ends with a '\0'. There are only a few differences. First of all, the 'variables' (pointers, soldiers, pointer masters, ect..) have feelings. Now, I'm not sure if all of those ints that I regularly declare actually have feelings, but I'm guessing not. If they did, I would probably have more bugs in my programs than I do.

That brings up the beginning of Pointer Wars. Pointer Wars was created (sort of) as an excuse for why one of my programs wasn't working. The pointers are revolting. Pointer Wars is now into the 6th individual episode. The program still isn't done.

Only a C/C++ programmer will understand Pointer Wars. It may frighten, disgust, or offend others. In the event that you interpret Pointer Wars in a way it was not intended to be interpreted, I'm not responsible. Memmalloced ?

That transmit, malloc char* hyperlink.

News

This site has Moved

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May 8, 2000 (10:42 PM) Yes, I know that the one person that visits this website occassionally might be wondering what happened. Well, I'll tell you. I haven't updated in a month because of several things: All of those annoying end-of-year tests are coming up, and second of all, I'm working on getting this website off of 50megs.com. I've already taken the first step, getting a domain name (www.pointerwars.com). I've also got a web server running, with some niftly little things that I'm working on (cgi-bin). Now, all I need to do is link them together through the magic of an independant IP address.

April 3, 2000 (9:45 PM) I'm back. I now have Pointer Wars loaded onto my Apache Web Server, which I have spent quite a bit of time working on. Now, the next step is to set up a DNS server, so that pointerwars.com will become a reality. (Maybe not. Still thinking about it.) Anyhow.. that's why I haven't done anything on the site for the last month. Oh, yes I did. I added that nifty little webcounter up there, which works with every browser I can find (although it loads a bit slowly).

March 10, 2000 (3:00 PM) I'm doing this update from a Mac at school. If Microsoft is really a monopoly, why can't I find a decent Windows machine anywhere? At least having a Windows machine indicates that you have a decent system. These Macs are running 320x240, with Netscape 2.02. Some of them. Anyhow, that's why this update is so early. I'm not sure what to work on right now, besides the ACs. After that, I might work on a raytraced Pointer Wars movie (Binky's Second Movie, anyone ?) or work on ASCII Pointer Wars, or something like that. The ultimite guide to Pointer Wars fire functions, maybe? Something like that.

March 6, 2000 (10:15 PM) Well, the AC update sort of snuck in through the back door, hoping nobody noticed that it was late. Eventually, I'll get all of the sections filled out, but until then, there you go. That's about it. Malloc Char* Far !

March 4, 2000 (9:10 PM) So far, there have only two updates to this site that took place between 1:30 AM and 9:00 PM. This isn't one of them. I modified the counter a little because it seems to crash netscape on my Linux box. I'm going to begin the quest for another simple counter soon, but for now, you have the fastest-loading counter this side of the web, supported by most all web browsers. It's pure plaintext. Anyhow, soon I should have a major update for the Action Classes section.

Febuary 28, 2000 (10:35 PM) I'm currenly right in the middle of the rush for teachers to do lots of tests so that they can give us accurate grades. Today, half of my classes were entirely tests. Tommorow, one third. That's why I have so much time to work on the website.

Febuary 28, 2000 (1:05 AM) I seem to like working on the side in the middle of the night. Oh well. I haven't been able to work on the ACs for a while, because the grading period is ending, and all of the teachers are giving tests, because they all stopped giving much work after the first half of the year was over. Hopefully next weekend, or the one after that, I can work on the site. Tiy jbiqm ud U nuaKUFB NT DUBFWEA, U Xb rtoiw kujw rgua . That will only work on Qwerty keyboards, though. I probably work on the site at night because otherwise I do stuff like that. I'm going to go to sleep now.

February 13, 2000 (12:39 AM) I'm just about to load the first four action classes onto the site: Agent, Binky, Darth, and the Tick Star. Eventually, I'll have everybody, but for now, I present Action Classes: Action Figures for the 2000th Century ! (I'm guessing that by then, everybody will speak C fluently, and understand Pointer Wars).

February 12, 2000 (12:39 PM) Modified the email address a little, for various reasons. I'm working on Pointer Wars action classes, which are the C/C++ equivalent of action figures. They can actually move around in the memory, meaning that a compiled version of Pointer Wars would get more access violations that an infinite loop of recursive memory poking calls. Anyhow, that should be up by the end of the week, or the end of next week, or whenever I get it up by.

January 18, 2000 (1:15 AM) Well, I just finished the Y2K Pointer Wars Y2K Special. I'm tired. That's about it. It's a few days late, but my moniter fizzed out on the 30th, and I only now got enough time to finish this.

January 1, 2000 (11:30 AM) Happy New Year, everybody ! Assert new tick malloc ++ !

December 23, 1999 (1:00 AM) Alright. It's been a while, a month since the LOTD from User Friendly. I've just finished 2 more episodes, numbers 2 & 3. I had to choose between uploading them, and downloading 'Pointer Fun with Binky' (where I got the idea for Binky, and Pointer Wars) from Stanford's web site. Anyhow, FLSTF is going to get a name change, as the name isn't really appropriate for a pointer master, just like the name 'Gunner' wouldn't be appropriate for Yoda. So, tommorow, (today, but after I sleep), I upload all of the episodes again. Goodnight.
Sleep(32400000);
Today, I've uploaded 'Heap Wars' and 'Tick of Destiny'. Flstf is going to get a name change, #define Flstf Coprocessors. It changes the storyline a bit, but it explains some things.

December 10, 1999 (12:30 AM) Well, about 8000 hits later, we're still going strong. I just got a main page Pointer Wars graphic up.. somebody email me if that takes too long to download on a slow connection and I'll get a lowres version of it. I've been busy trying to balance out episodes 2 & 3, so that's going to take a while. That's about it.

November 23, 1999 (4:40 PM) Today, Pointer Wars, as of this point today, has around 4700 some hits. By the way, as of this point in time, Pointer Wars is now no longer a story written in C++. It's now written in 'C/C++'. I completely understand the reason for this change, and now I can concentrate on a less class based system of defining the actions. By the way, Pointer Wars isn't meant to be run like a program. The source is the story, not the screen output. Don't run this through a compiler and complain about errors that you get.

November 22, 1999 (10:32 PM) Tommorow, Pointer Wars will be the LOTD on the User Friendly webpage. Expecting lots of traffic to come through here. Notice at 10:00 that the web site that runs the CGI for my counter crashed indefinitely. Spend 30+ minutes finding new counter that doesn't have advertisements all over it. No luck. Still working on it now. (11:15) Find little, advertisement free counter. Add to webpage at top.

November 10, 1999 (5:05 PM) Finish creation of site. Notice that all of the episodes have the ends cut off, and no blank lines or newlines. (6:30) All episodes working fixed. Counter added. So far, I have 1 visitor: Myself.

All Pointer Wars material is copyrighted by Sam Schreiber. © 1999, 2000. Any distribution of Pointer Wars must include or referance my name as author. Section 106 of the Copyright Act. Pointer Wars is an unofficial parody of Star Wars. All rights reserved. I am not responsible for any misuse of any information provided on this site. I am, in addition, not liable for any damage or loss in productivity that this site or Pointer Wars may cause. All other trademarks are the property of their respective owners. If you find any objectionable material on the Pointer Wars website, by any standard, I am not liable. I am in no way representing 50megs.com, or anybody besides myself with this website. Don't sue me. I think that about covers it. If it doesn't, email me about it.